Susan Krauss Whitbourne: Life satisfaction is possible at any age
- by Susan Krauss Whitbourne
Based on a psychological study of more than 180 people on personal development and happiness that was tracked for forty years, THE SEARCH FOR FULFILLMENT reveals how people change over the course of their lifetimes. I discovered that no matter how old or how content you might currently feel, it is never too late to steer your life toward a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction. Although the view of personality as stable through life, for better or worse, has persisted since the time of William James, others have challenged this notion. There is increasing evidence that personality traits, thought to be our inborn dispositions, do change through midlife, but not through radical eruptions such as the midlife crisis advocates propose. My research examines in depth the lives of many of the people in my study to show how change can and does occur, and the results may surprise you. Not only do I not find evidence for the midlife crisis, but I also show that Baby Boomers are not whining, selfish narcissists. They care about changing the world and making it a better place. I’ve also found that material wealth does not lead to long-term happiness. Finally, I show that even if you start out in life a little behind your peers either in education, job success, or close relationships, you can “play catch up” and succeed by midlife. The study of fulfillment has also provided me with personal fulfillment. When I began this research in the late 1970s I was a young assistant professor who through a combination of luck and planning got a hold of a data set from 350 college students tested in the mid 1960s. I was able to track down that sample and have continued to follow them up through their late 50s. Being able to see how they have changed and grown over time has been both inspiring and gratifying. I've put dozens of baby boomers' lives under the microscope. To assist me in this analysis, I had at my disposal their answers to the same set of questions from their college years to the fifties, as well as enough details about their careers and family lives to sketch out a picture of how their lives evolved. In the process of conducting this research, five pathways of development have emerged showing that people differ in the way they navigate adulthood. The five pathways that have emerged from my research on personality have captured the variety of ways that we navigate the many challenges and complexities of adulthood. These fall into five pathways: Meandering Way: you are unable to settle on a clear set of goals and a way to achieve those goals Straight and Narrow Path: your life is characterized by predictability; you shy away from risk and don't enjoy changing your routines. Downward Slope: you had everything going for you when you were young, however things started to go wrong and now you regret your choices. Triumphant Trail: your inner resilience has allowed you to overcome significant challenges that could have led you to despair. Authentic Road: you have continuously examined your life's direction and forced yourself to take an honest look at whether it is truly satisfying. But you’re not stuck in these pathways. Here are the steps you need to take to get onto the pathway you most want to pursue: Meandering Way (how to get off) Reconnect with your earlier life goals. Avoid the false belief that there is something always better around the corner. Commit to making changes that will get you back in touch with your real self. Straight and Narrow Way (how to get off) Re-evaluate your commitments. Tweak your routine (or at least think about tweaking it). Don't be frightened by making small changes. Downward Slope (how to get off) Accept the fact that it is okay to succeed. Enjoy the successes you have had. Acknowledge the mistakes you've made and move on. Triumphant Trail (how to get on) Realize that it is possible to cope. Use denial, if necessary, as a stopgap measure until the pain subsides. Accept the negative events as part of your own life history. Authentic Road (how to get on) Look back on times when you have done something positive with your life and realize that you have the ability to achieve fulfillment. Develop your flexibility and do not be afraid to change. Examine alternatives in your life, even if only in fantasy, and take small steps toward change if that change will lead to fulfillment. If you’d like to learn more, you can take an online questionnaire that will allow you to determine which pathway you’re on. Once you’ve learned the answer, you can start to take the steps needed to head you toward long-term fulfillment.
Here is the online questionnaire.
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I challenge this notion and posit that it's possible to find fulfillment at any age. There's no reason to limit yourself by thinking you are too old to change.
