Midlife Crisis Coping BlogThis Midlife Crisis Coping Blog shows you practices in the domains of career, education and spirituality which address areas especially relevant to people in midlife, like goal-setting and self discovery. Dr. Frank and Dr. Fred review best practices in these domains, and use their knowledge and experience to adapt them for people in midlife transitions who are looking to ongoingly create happiness in their lives. Mar 10, 2010, "Self-Help: Shattering the Myths"Dr. Frank has a webpage on the subject of self-help ("'Self Help' is big business") on our site. I want to add to that conversation. Yesterday, I came across an article in Pyschology Today entitled "Self-Help: Shattering the Myths" by Annie Murphy Paul. She introduces the article by writing the following, "Self-help books are now a half-billion-dollar industry, but not all "off the shelf" advice is useful or accurate. Here are common distortions to watch out for, and where to go for sound, science-based guidance." I don't buy into something automatically because it's scientifically-based. That being said, here is an outline of the distortions she presents. What comes up for you as you read through the list? I suggest you go the link below for the full article. DISTORTION 1: Vent your anger and it'll go away DISTORTION 2: When you're down in the dumps, think yourself happy by focusing on the positive. DISTORTION 3: Visualize your goal, and you'll help make it come true. DISTORTION 4: Self-affirmations will help you rinse low self-esteem. DISTORTION 5: "Active listening" can help you communicate better with your partner. Paul offers useful advice on "sifting science from snake oil" as well as providing a list of resources that she consider to be worthy of consideration. I've searched the web on more self-help myths, which include the following: - Group brainstorming is an especially effective way of generating new ideas. - Praising a child's ability is good for their self-esteem and future success. - It takes 21 days to form a habit. - No pain, no gain. - We push negative experiences out of our awareness and tuck them into the unconscious. - Be positive, have hope. I can keep on going. We all need to be more discriminating in accepting the "party line" as truth. - Dr. Fred Mar 9, 2010, Are you ready for an encore career?American President, Theodore Roosevelt, once said: "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." According to research conducted by the MetLife Foundation and Civic Ventures, more and more men and women in midlife and beyond are looking to change careers and do meaningful work. They want to be able to earn income as well as do good work beyond themselves. Here are some of the main findings from the survey that was conducted in 2008: 1. Areas of work: Between five and eight million Americans are already engaged in encore careers. Interestingly, there are more women than men (56% vs. 44%, respectively) doing it. The most popular areas of work include education, health care, government, other non-profit organizations, and for-profit businesses that serve the public good. 2. Loving the experience: People in encore careers have very high job satisfaction. They feel good about the work they are doing and see positive results. They also feel that they are making a difference and that they are appreciated. In addition, they get to use their skills and experience and they are learning new things. 3. Motivation: Midlifers and beyond have many reasons for wanting to engage in encore careers. They want to stay active, productive, and challenged. They are also looking for continued income and health benefits. It is also important to have flexibility in the work they do. - Dr. Frank Mar 8, 2010, Midlife development is more than a mental gameDr. Frank's post yesterday had to do with boosting performance through playing the "inner game." I first came across this notion through reading Tim Gallwey's books (The Inner game of Tennis, Inner Tennis) on the subject in the mid 1970s. It opened my eyes to a new way of learning (and teaching/coaching) that Gallwey refers to as "natural learning," which he says is a function of awareness. He defines awareness as the "energy of consciousness which makes it possible for us to experience events internal or external to our bodies." He goes on to say, "If you want to change your tennis - or your life - the Inner Game approach suggests that as a first step you not try to change it, but simply increase your awareness of the way it is." What Gallwey has done is to adopt some of the principles of the Eastern spiritual traditions as they apply to learning and teaching. The Inner Game is about developing our capacity to notice what's present in our experience non judgmentally. It's not about "thinking" our way to better performance and a better life. It's an approach that has us become more aware of our bodies, our feelings. our emotions, thoughts, actions and our environment. The Inner Game approach has altered my life. It has me be more in my experience, more in my body and out of my automatic thinking, which interferes with my effectiveness and fulfillment. As a way to develop my awareness and mindfulness, I practice Buddhist meditation, yoga, The Alexander Technique, "The Work" of Byron Katie as well as the teachings of Advaita Vedanta. Dr. Frank shares about his conversation with Felix. a music student and Felix's music teacher recommending reading The Inner Game of Tennis, which I think is a good start. However, for the Inner Game approach to be integrated into one's being requires working with a teacher who has experience in using it. Working with an Alexander Technique teacher could create a significant improvement in performance. I speak from experience. The Alexander Technique has contributed to better "use" of my mind/body in all areas of my life. - Dr. Fred Mar 7, 2010, Boosting performanceThe other day, just before a literature class I was teaching, I happened to notice Tim Gallwey's book, The Inner Game of Tennis: The Classic Guide to the Mental Side of Peak Performance, on the desk of Felix, one of my students. I was familiar with the work of Gallway, since I read a while back his The Inner Game of Work, a book that Dr. Fred highly recommends to his coaching clients. I asked Felix, a music student, "Why are you reading that book?" He responded, "My music teacher, recommended that I read it." I said, "That is interesting. How come? Felix answered, "Because it would help me improve my musical performance. And it really has." Here is what Gallwey states in the introduction to the book: "Neither mystery or satisfaction can be found in the playing of any game without giving some attention to the relatively neglected skills of the inner game. This is a game that takes place in the mind of the player, and it is played against such obstacles as lapses in concentration, nervousness, self-doubt and self-condemnation. In short, it is played to overcome the limits of mind which inhibit excellence in performance." Thanks to Felix and his music teacher, I intend to re-read Gallwey's The Inner Game of Work - I highlighted the key parts as I always do to allow for quick review - and read The Inner Game of Tennis to boost my own performance in writing and teaching. - Dr. Frank Mar 6, 2010, The Tao Te Ching and The I Ching- accessing inner wisdom
What do you "get" when you read the following "chapters", which come from two ancient texts. The first one is from the Tao Te Ching and the second from the I Ching? When I use the word "get," I don't mean understand. I mean to feel and sense through your skin, your heart, your soul, your intuition, your inner wisdom. There are no "right" answers.
Knowing when enough is enough Tao, 33
"Shock brings success. I Ching Both of these excerpts have to do with change and transition. You can compare what you've "gotten" out of them compared to how writers interpret them through searching the internet (click on the link below for an example). There are people I know who use the I Ching and Tao Te Ching to make decisions and guide them through life. I've engaged with both as well as readings, exercises and games that get me out of my head and into my heart and soul. I'm left having a greater sense of freedom and lightening up. - Dr. Fred Mar 5, 2010, Is saving money going out of style?In Canada, contributions to one`s RRSP (Registered retirement savings plan) or that of a spouse ended on March 1, 2010. I was surprised that only 38 per cent of Canadians made their contribution this year, according to a survey done by the Bank of Montreal. Here are the main reasons Canadians gave for not contributing to their RRSP:
- Not having enough money The first reason is certainly valid for many who are looking for a job or not earning enough to make ends meet. Congratulations to those - particularly midlifers and baby boomers - who made the effort to save. You are going to live longer than you think. So you need to plan for having a comfortable life style in your later years. One of my financial rules is to pay myself first. In other words, I systematically put aside 10 per cent of my net earnings in what I call my "Financial Freedom Account." Even if I have "to beg, borrow or steal," as the saying goes, I make the effort to contribute. This money is then forwarded to my RRSP and that of my wife, Jacqueline, on a regular basis. Another savings option for Canadians is the newly-created plan, as of 2009, to contribute up to $5,000 a year to a tax-free savings account. Although you don`t get the tax deductions associated with your RRSP contributions, you do benefit from increasing your assets tax free. In addition, contributions are retroactive and you can borrow against your plan. I agree entirely with Serge Pepin, director of BMO investments when he says, "Saving for retirement and working towards achieving long-term financial goals should always be a priority." In achieving financial goals for yourself and your family, there are excuses and there are results. Click on the link for more about achieving your financial goals. - Dr. Frank Mar 4, 2010, Religion and spirituality- Three women and their sonsThree women are chatting about the qualities of their sons. The first one says: "I am happy that he has decided to become a priest: Every time he enters a room, people look at him with respect and exclaim: 'My father!'" The eyes of the second woman shone and she commented: "Well, I'm even happier to know that my son not only followed the priesthood but was appointed cardinal. So, when he comes into the room, people lower their heads in respect, kiss his hand and say: 'Your Grace!'" The third woman remains in silence. The other two turn to her and ask: "And what about your son?" "Well, my son...is six feet tall and handsome, with fair hair and blue eyes. Every time he comes into a room, people look at one another and say: 'My God!'" Friday nights, 10:00 pm to 11:00 pm, I enjoy watching "Real Time" with Bill Maher on HBO. Maher is the creator of the documentary, Religulous. I've only seen the trailer, which I find funny. However, there's something about the way he attacks and makes fun of religion (on his program as well) that pushes my buttons. I'm certainly not religious but spirituality plays an important part in my life. As people enter middle age, spirituality and/or religion become more important to them. They are aspects of the adult developmental process. Frederic Hudson, author of The Adult Years: Mastering the Art of Self-Renewal has this to say... "The second half of life is about moving beyond "ego" concerns into the life of the "self, a spiritual aspect of mature life. Through the conscious development of an inner self, we discover connections to universal qualities of life everywhere. This spiritual awareness transforms our sense of purpose, and we begin to pursue a higher consciousness characterized by wholeness, reflection, and trust – investing our energy in forms of life and work that will outlive us." Maher doesn't get it! - Dr. Fred Mar 3, 2010, Measuring happinessBehavioral economists are now joining the happiness conversation that has become such a hot topic these days, according to Betsey Stevenson of The Wharton School of Business. In an interview that I picked up online she made the following assertions that leave me scratching my head. Here are a few of her observations. - Stevenson: "Happiness in measured simply by asking people." Comment: She seems to put great value in surveys that ask people such questions as "Taken altogether, how would you say things are these days, would you say that you are very happy, pretty happy, or not too happy?" or "How satisfied are you with your life as a whole?" Of course, this begs the question of what is happiness. She seems to equate it with the concept of life satisfaction. Yet, research by the US National Economic Research Bureau correlates happiness to a number of factors, including health, employment, age, relationships page, social interaction, clear conscience and money. - Stevenson: "There is probably more to life than even life satisfaction. I know that sounds oxymoronic, but perhaps we're missing a sense of greater purpose or fulfillment." Comment: Of course there is more to happiness than life satisfaction or momentary pleasure. I like the distinctions that Robert Holden brings to the happiness conversation in distinguishing among sensory happiness or pleasure, circumstantial happiness or satisfaction, and unreasonable happiness or joy. - Stevenson: "If we look at the relationship between happiness and income, we see a very clear relationship, where wealthier people are the happiest people in society and happiness rises quite steadily with income. . . We find that the richer countries are happier than poorer countries and as countries get richer, the citizens get happier. I should note, however, that there is one exception. The United States has got wealthy over the last 40 years and we have not got any theater average." Comment: Leave it to an economist to say this. Most of my reading on the topic of happiness and money does not support this claim. For example, the happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky states the opposite. Furthermore, psychological research on happiness shows that only 10% of the one's level of happiness can be attributed to life circumstances. For more from Stevenson on why women are less happy today than a generation ago, click on the link. - Dr. Frank Mar 2, 2010, "Counter Clockwise"I started reading the book, Counterclockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility by Ellen Langer, a psychologist and well known researcher on mindfulness. One of the questions she asked herself was "To what extent can the mind influence the body?" She cites a study that she and her colleagues conducted in 1979, that I first became aware of in reading Deepak Chopra's book, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind almost 20 years ago. The subjects, a group of men, 75 or older, in good health were asked to meet for a week's retreat at a country resort. They were told that they would undergo a series of physical and mental exams. What was unusual is that they weren't permitted to bring any newspapers, magazines, books or family photos dated later than 1959. The resort was set up so that it duplicated life 20 years earlier. The music and the reading were from this period. The men were asked to behave and converse as if the year were 1959. They were to talk in the present tense. They were to refer to their relationships as though they were 20 years younger. The remarkable thing about this study is that this experimental group was more active and self-sufficient than a control group. Their memory improved as well as their manual dexterity. Impartial judges found that their faces looked younger by an average of three years. Their physical and mental capacity had also increased. Langer's conclusions is that what many would consider irreversible signs of aging can be reversed through psychological intervention. I consider myself fortunate in having a genetic make-up that has me appear and function like I'm younger than my age. But I think there's more to it than genetics. Much of the way I talk, think, speak and act as well as my lifestyle contributes to my youthfulness. Another factor is that I surround myself with people who are positive, vital, authentic and enthusiastic about life. Midlife and beyond may be a time of decline and can be slowed down through developing our capacity to be more conscious. - Dr. Fred Mar 1, 2010, It may be time for a midlife career changeWe are all familiar with the proverb, "It's never too late." We can apply this to midlife career change as well. Do you know what work you would really like to do? What lifestyle do you want? Do you want a home-based career or an 8 to 5 job? Do you want to control your own time, or have a boss tell you what to do? Can you identify your current skills? If so, are your skills transferable? What are your talents and expertise in specific areas? These are some questions you may ask yourself. Nancy Anderson, career consultant and author of the new book entitled, Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond: Reach Your Full Potential and Make the Money You Need, asks: - Can you identify your worries? We all have deep-seated fears or worries that sometimes obstruct us from changing careers and moving forward. - Do you know your values? Ask yourself what you enjoy when you are alone, without someone telling you what to do. - Do you know your strengths? Look for areas of work to take advantage of them. Ask people closest to you for their perspective. In her first book, Work with Passion: How to Do What You Love for a Living, Anderson writes about discovering your personal needs. She uses a catchy metaphor - a garden with many flowers - to express her ideas about change and growth: "You will know your environment is right for you when you sense the pleasant growth of yourself: you are glad to be learning and you like the other flowers around you, the gardener (yourself, the owner, boss, supervisor) gives you just the right challenge, does not over water (rescue) you, does not expose you to too much sun (over expectations), does not under nourish you (with no praise, or plenty of criticism) . . . What needs to be unearthed is your unique personal power. . . It is through the dignity of work we do that we achieve self-esteem in life." Click on the link to pre-order her new book, Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond. - Dr. Frank Feb 28, 2010, "The No Past Meditation"If you've been following my posts, you know that one of my key practices is Buddhist meditation as a way to develop mindfulness and living consciously – not on automatic. A few months ago, I bought the book Be Happy by Richard Holden, Ph.D.; a psychologist who's regarded as an expert on happiness. The book is based on the workshop of the same name. Actually, what the reader gets are the notions and exercises offered to the participants. I've been experimenting with a number of them, the most recent being, "The No Past Meditation." There's a notion that I share with clients, friends and associates that goes like this, "In the present moment, life is perfect." Many people have difficulty with this one because rather than living in the experience of "now," their thinking grabs them so it seems like there is a past and a future that comes with all the concerns of their life. Here's how the meditation goes and I suggest that you experiment with it... Sit comfortably, eyes closed, breath deeply and imagine you don't have a past. There are three rounds:
Round one- you do the meditation for one minute. Holden says that typically in round one, people experience some discomfort, loss of bearings, anxiety and fear. In round two, there's a sense of peace, calm and timelessness. In round three, there's an experience of being more present and happy. Without a past, there's no story, there's no fear, there's no pain. For midlife development to occur, it requires trying on new practices, new ways of acting, new ways of thinking and new ways of being. - Dr. Fred Feb 27, 2010, Are you an anxious midlifer?The other day, Dr. Fred wrote a piece on major depression and listed some of the symptoms associated with it. He noted that there is a high percentage of midlifers experiencing this condition. Although some form of stress, worry or anxiety are a part of everyday life, midlifers may suffer from chronic anxiety, a disorder that interferes with their ability to lead normal lives. Here are some some symptoms that psychologists associate with chronic anxiety according to psychcentral.com: muscle tension, poor memory, fear or confusion, constant worry, palpitations, and poor concentration. As midlifers age or if they live with chronic medical conditions, their chances of having chronic anxiety will likely increase. However, there may be an effective, low-cost way to treat the symptoms of chronic anxiety. Researchers from the University of Georgia recently reported that performing exercise regularly can reduce the symptoms of anxiety. They looked at nearly 3,000 patients suffering from various medical conditions, such as heart disease, multiple sclerosis and cancer. As reported by psychcentral.com, researchers found that "physical activities such as walking or weight lifting may turn out to be the best medicine that physicians can prescribe to help their patients feel less anxious." They happen to be two of my favourite activities. Researchers also found that it is better to do more than 30 minutes of exercise rather than less. However, they noted that exercise programs of three to twelve weeks worked better at reducing anxiety than exercise programs of longer duration. Thus, a key finding is that exercise has a beneficial impact on a variety of physical and mental conditions. It is also less risky than medication. Click on the link for "Happiness Resources" which may provide other successful midlife coping strategies. - Dr. Frank Permalink -- click for full blog post "Are you an anxious midlifer?" Feb 26, 2010, An interview with Steve Nash on a unique perspective on self-helpIn our latest interview of our interview series, Steve Nash, creator of the Self Help Collective website says that rather than buying into what the experts and gurus tell us about how to conduct our lives, he asserts that the ultimate source of wisdom is ourselves. What makes his site unique, in my view, is that he provides a platform for a community of "ordinary" people to share their experiences in what works for them as they deal with the issues of their life. It's then up to the reader to experiment with others' suggestions. To a large extent, I buy what he has to say. However, I also know that each of us have blind spots, which stop us from being extraordinary. The way to reveal or "unconceal" these blind spots is through conversations with another(s). There are many personal development programs that impact peoples' lives. My recent post on "social capital" pointed out the limitations of the "lone ranger" mentality. Our tendency to get things on our own through willpower is bankrupt! The last point I'll make is that a very powerful model for change, transformation and enlightenment is the "guru (teacher)-student" relationship which depends on trust and surrender to the teacher. And this is similar to the relationship between a coach and a player. So, self-help could include engaging with others and not necessarily relying on outside resources. It's not a question of either/or. It's important to be judicious in choosing a pathway that we sense is best for us. Click the link below to access the interview. - Dr. Fred Feb 25, 2010, Money and happinessThe other day I got a call on Skype from my son, Nicolas, who lives in the UK. He is looking to start a career in currency trading. He excitedly told me about a young business man he had recently met in a posh office building on Liverpool Street in London's "the City," the equivalent of New York's Wall Street. "I'm really impressed," Nicolas told me, "with the fact that this young fellow has just started a currency trading company with several partners. He's in his office at 6 AM, working all day on his different computer terminals, and apparently making lots of money. He must be 'doing something right.'" I was struck by those last few words: "doing something right." There is certainly nothing wrong about working hard at what you enjoy and pursuing wealth. However, there is always a flip side. If pursuing wealth means being stressed, overworked, spending more than you earn to keep up with the Joneses, and eventually becoming indebted, you may be "doing something wrong." An overemphasis on materialism and over consumption is known as "affluenza" and it could have unfortunate consequences (PBS first aired a one-hour special on the topic in 1997 - see http://www.pbs.org/kcts/affluenza/). In an article entitled,"The great work debate: Money vs. happiness," Valerie Young of www.changingcourse.com refers to the work of Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, authors of Your Money or Your Life, one of my favourite books: "The authors asked over 1,000 people from the United States and Canada to rate themselves on a happiness scale of 1 (miserable) to 5 (joyous), with 3 being “can’t complain.” Even Dominguez and Robin’s were surprised to find there to be no correlation what so ever between income and happiness. In fact, people earning between $0 – 1,000 a month reported being slightly happier than those whose monthly income exceeded $4,000. Even though we own more than our parent’s generation, the percentage of Americans describing themselves as “very happy” peaked in 1957. Since then it has remained fairly stable or declined. This, despite the fact that American’s consume twice as much as they did in the 1950s, when the average size of a house was about the same as many two-car garages today." I wish my son financial success and happiness in doing what he feels is right. For the complete Young article click on the link. - Dr. Frank Feb 24, 2010, What's the quality of your "social capital"?About a year ago, after 12 years of being a BNI (Business Network International) member (5 years a director) in Montreal, I didn't renew my membership. The truth is I was burnt out from putting much effort into having the chapter I belonged to be the first class chapter it once was. It wasn't an easy decision. I introduced BNI into the Montreal community in August of1997 with the purpose of gaining more visibility through networking and being recognized as a leader. At exactly the same time, for the same reasons, I started the Montreal chapter of the International Coach Federation. Both experiences were very rewarding, especially in terms of developing some long term lasting relationships. I was afraid that I would miss all that networking ("friendship farming"). As it turns out, I don't miss all that early morning schmoozing. However, I think I've swung the pendulum too far in the other direction because I'm not getting out there to develop new relationships. Maybe I'm too comfortable in "hiding out." Maybe the quality of my "social capital" has diminished. Wayne Baker, author of the book, Achieving Success Through Social Capital: Tapping Hidden Resources in Your Personal and Business Networks defines social capital as follows...
“Social capital” refers to the resources available in and through He distinguishes three myths that underly how we typically operate in our culture...
Myth #1- The ultimate hero is the rugged individualist All of these undermine our happiness, health, quality, purpose, and meaning of life. Solitude and connecting with others exist as dichotomies - they're distinct, yet not separate. For midlife development in dealing with change and transition, the notion of social capital is worth investigating. - Dr. Fred Feb 23, 2010, Words to live byIn a recent e-mail communication from Alan Deutschman, author of Change or Die and one of our featured interviewees (www.happiness-after-midlife.com/alan-deutschman), he recommended that I check out the website, www.6seconds.org for learning how emotional intelligence can be a strategy for change. The headline on the website’s home page states its purpose: "engage the power of emotional intelligence to create positive change - everywhere, all the time.” Heady words indeed. In surfing the website, I was pleasantly surprised to come across the following Arab proverb in an article by Eknath Easwaran, taken from his book Words to Live By: A Daily Guide to Leading an Exceptional Life. “The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers.” “Before words get past the lips, the first gatekeeper asks, ‘Is this true?’ That stops a lot of traffic immediately. But if the words get past the first gatekeeper, there is a second who asks, ‘Is it kind?’ And for those words that qualify here too, the last gatekeeper asks: ‘Is it necessary?’“ It reminded me of the first agreement in the The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: “Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love." I was also pleasantly surprised to learn about the work of Eknath Easwaran, most known for his work in "passage meditation." It is a type of meditation in which you repeat memorized inspirational passages from the world's great religions, such as the passage quoted above. Easwaran was an inspirational author who dedicated his life to teaching about meditation and to leading a fulfilling life. - Dr. Frank Feb 22, 2010, Midlife Wisdom and AgingIn my last post, I shared some indicators of major depression, which is one of the negative factors that accelerate aging. Here are two lists of psychosocial factors that according to gerontologists determine if the aging process is being accelerated or retarded (taken from Deepak Chopra's book, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind: The Quantum Alternative to Growing Old). Negative Factors That Accelerate Aging(Asterisk (*) denotes major factors)
- *Depression Positive Factors That Retard Aging
- *Happy marriage (or satisfying long term relationship) Using these factors to assess myself, I have about one more day to live! Just kidding. How did you do? One of my core philosophies is that we're all an "experiment of one," so while these may apply generally to people, they may not apply to a specific individual. Chopra points out the limitations of trying to quantify someone's personal makeup. Intangible qualities such as giving of oneself and having a high regard for others impact aging. His main point is that through the power of developing our awareness (mindfulness), we have the ability to "defeat" (maybe diminish would be a better word) aging at its source. - Dr. Fred Feb 21, 2010, North America's aging population - boon or bane?It is a fact that the population in North America is aging. Baby boomers, those born between 1945 and 1964, represent the largest demographic in the the United States. Life expectancy is also increasing, with predictions that the current life expectancy of 78 will increase to 83 by 2050. Does this mean an inevitable decrease in economic activity and a lower standard of living? Recent research from the Kauffman Foundation shows the contrary: the aging population bodes well for North America's economy. Here are some key findings reported in a study entitled "The Coming Entrepreneurship Boom," examining entrepreneurial activity dating from 1996: - "In every single year from 1996 to 2007, Americans between the ages of 55 and 64 had a higher rate of entrepreneurial activity than those aged 20-34. - For the entire period, the 55-64 group averaged a rate of entrepreneurial activity roughly one-third larger than their youngest counterparts. - These trends seem likely to persist: in the Kauffman Firm Survey, a longitudinal survey of nearly 5,000 companies that began in 2004, two-thirds of firm founders are between the ages of 35 and 54.3 - Additionally, Kauffman research has revealed that the average age of the founders of technology companies in the United States is a surprisingly high 39 — with twice as many over age 50 as under age 25.4." As a baby boomer myself and an entrepreneur, these findings do not surprise me. Am I a mid-life crisis entrepreneur? No, not really. Dr. Fred and I are having the time of our life sharing our knowledge and experience with the help of SiteSell, the main tool for building our website. I leave you with these words from the test pilot, Chuck Yeager: "You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can't, you do the next best thing. You back up, but you don't give up." - Dr. Frank Permalink -- click for full blog post "North America's aging population - boon or bane?" Feb 20, 2010, Are you a depressed midlifer?In earlier posts, I've made the assertion that human beings live in a state of low grade depression. My evidence for that is the condition of humanity and how that shows up in the world in terms of the challenges we face. I can provide many statistics to support my point of view. My assertion is also based on my 30 years of experience as a coach working with hundreds of people. I don't see many people going through life fully expressed and creating a world of possibility. We're not designed that way – we're designed to reduce the risk that life offers to us. We're designed to survive, which isn't a high state of being. In this post, I want to distinguish major depression because of the high percentage of midlifers experiencing it as they deal with some big existential questions. If you experience either of the first two symptoms in the following list and four or more of the other symptoms continuously over at least a two week period, you may be experiencing a major depression:
1. Feeling depressed or sad most of the day. Major depression isn't something to be shameful of or deny. It's not something you gloss over with positivism. It requires treatment. Working with a psychotherapist is essential. - Dr. Fred Feb 19, 2010, Online books, money and other matters from an octogenarianThe other day I had a long telephone chat with my friend and mentor, Sigy, who lives down south for the winter months. For someone who will be 88 in a few months, he constantly amazes me with his intellectual vigor and curiosity. In a wide-ranging conversation, we talked about each of our families, friends and money matters (we both invest with the same asset management company, which he recommended to me several years ago). He always leaves me with one or two gems in each of our conversations. This time it had to do with the online book site he uses regularly, www.searchoverdrive.com. He raved about being able to get free downloads of certain books. I was not unaware of this site. And I thought I was Internet savvy about book sites! He uses it mainly to download - on his Mac Pro computer - audo versions of books, which he enjoys listening to on his iPod. One recent book that he got a kick out listening to was Life's Missing Instruction Manual by Joe Vitale (which, by the way, got very mixed reviews at Amazon books). After our conversation, I immediately visited the book site he recommended. I found that one of the most popular downloadable books was The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It. Although the title is quite catchy, books like these often do not contain much substance. However, David manages to present a variety of simple strategies, in succinct language, that are based on psychological studies and reports. I peeked into Amazon books and was drawn to chapter 2, "Use a strategy for happiness." Nevin writes, "Happy people let themselves be happy. Unhappy people continue doing things that upset them." He then summarizes a research finding from work of Lyubomirsky (1994): "Happy people do not experience one success after another and unhappy people, one failure after another. Instead, surveys show that happy and unhappy people tend to have had very similar life experiences. The difference is that the average unhappy person spends more than twice as much time thinking about unpleasant events in their lives, while happy people tend to seek and rely on information that brightens their personal outlook." - Dr. Frank
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