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Happiness After Midlife Blog

The Happiness After Midlife blog is dedicated to teaching skills and strategies for midlife career change, entrepreneurship, money and happiness, and lifelong learning.

SEND me your comments, ideas and suggestions by clicking here. I want to hear from you.

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Jun 11, 2012

The Top 3 Recreation, Fitness and Cultural Pursuits of Older Folks

It is not surprising that older folks like me have very particular interests relating to recreation, health and fitness, cultural pursuits, interest in technology. Here are the results of survey I came across in Joseph Chang's book, The Aging Myth.

Top 3 sports, athletic and outdoor adventure pursuits (Percent ranked "extremely important" followed by my comment)

1. Swimming 55.2% (one of my favorite pursuits)

2. Golf 49.2% (no interest for me)

3. Bowling 34.4% (no interest for me)

Top 3 increasing in popularity 18%

1. Hiking/climbing/rappelling (My wife and I hike occasionally. I have to admit I had to look up the word "rappelling." It has to do with moving down a steep hill or cliff with a rope. Not a sport for me.)

2. River rafting 17.8% (no interest for me)

3. Downhill skiing 9% (no interest for me)

Top 3 health and fitness pursuits (Percent ranked "extremely important" followed by my comment)

1. Walking 82% (My wife and I do long walks at least once a week.)

2. Cardiovascular equipment workouts 78.8% (I do this regularly.)

3. Strength/weigh training equipment workouts 67.4% (I do this regularly too.)

Top 3 increasing in popularity

1. Biking 56.7% (This and running I do regularly except for biking in the winter.)

2. Balance training programs (Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates) 51.3% (No interest for me)

3. Personal training 41.8% (I'm my own personal trainer.)

Top 3 Crafts and Cultural Art Pursuits (Percent ranked "extremely important" followed by my comment)

1. Ceramics/pottery/clay works 28.4% (My wife loves to do these things.)

2. Painting and drawing 27.2% (Another favorite activity of my wife.)

3. Woodcrafting 27.1% (No interest for me.)

Top 3 Media and Technology Pursuits (Percent ranked "extremely important" followed by my comment)

1. Computer technology - general 44.4% (This is partly my business.)

2. Photography 33.5% (My wife loves this.)

3. Computer graphics 33.2% (Another interest of my wife.)

How do you fit within these interests and pursuits?

A category for me that is in a class by itself is life-long learning and self-improvement. If you feel like I do, check out the Happiness After Midlife Learning Center for engaging and inspiring e-Books, e-Courses, and recommended products.

Dr. Frank

Jun 4, 2012

Conscious aging with Dr. Toni LaMotta

As you probably know, I am a big fan of Dr. Toni LaMotta, the Midlife Mentor, inspirational speaker, best-selling author, and remarkable spiritual life coach. I feel so privileged to be able to share weekly with her our ideas, experiences, successes of the past week, and plans for the upcoming week during our hour-long Skype calls.

I had to laugh on two occasions in the last few conversations I had with her. First, I had mentioned that I read the Creative Mind and Success by Ernest Holmes, an influential new thought minister. I said, "Toni, you must know the work of Holmes." She responded, "Frank, did you know that Holmes started the church in which I am a minister?" Chuckle.

Second, I said I had come across the work of Stephen Brookfield on critical thinking skills in connection with my teaching. I said, "Toni, you in your coaching ask a lot of thought-provoking questions." She said, 'Frank, did you know that I studied with Brookfield at Columbia University in the 1980's. He was one of the best teachers I ever had." Chuckle.

Last week, she told me about her plans for launching a new video product called Becoming Myself: A Blueprint for Conscious Aging - a great title with riveting material. It will be a series of videos that guide midlifers and beyond in uncovering their beliefs and fears about aging and death and doing something about them.

I got very excited about the product in hearing what she is planning. What is so powerful about it is that the product is based not only on her vast knowledge of adult development but also on her personal experiences in "looking the devil in the eye" - facing her own fears and insecurities and overcoming them.

Some of the thought-provoking questions she threw at me are: "Who have you been? Who will you be? Who are you NOW?"

I'll keep you posted on the launch of the product.

I want to thank visitors for coming to Happiness After Midlife in droves. I had 10,000 visitors, who viewed almost 18,000 pages, last month - the best month ever.

Dr. Frank

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May 28, 2012

Confidence can make or break your chances of success

I'm a rabid basketball fun and tune in religiously to the East and West post-season NBA elimination series now taking place. I love watching my favorite players: Wade and James from the Heat, Parker, Duncan, and Ginobili from the Spurs, Rondo and Garnett from the Celtics. I'll even grudgingly watch Bryant and WorldPeace (aka Artest) of the Lakers, players I detest the most, just to watch them get beat.

What does this have to do with confidence? A lot! Watching James reach new levels of excellence in beating Indiana, I was struck by a comment broadcast announcer Steve Kerr made about his seeming lack of confidence. Even though James is considered today by many to be the world's best player, he suffered from a lack of confidence after not rising to the occasion in last year's playoffs.

Kerr commented that during this season James was consulting past star players to get advice on performing better. Kerr said James should be giving advice to others and not soliciting it. Nonetheless, James has rekindled his confidence and his game has soared to new heights literally.

Just as having confidence can affect your level of play, it can also have a tremendous impact in your personal and professional life.

Did you know that confidence and self-esteem are two of the best predictors of performance and resilience in the face of stress and challenges?

Did you know that statistics reveal 95% of adults experience lack of confidence, self belief or low self esteem sometime in their life?

If you are seriously interested in working on your self-confidence, I highly recommend the Discover your Confidence Course that Monique Pambrun created and I produced.

It's a stimulating multimedia course that Aleks Srbinoski, coaching psychologist, says will "get you motivated, focused and inspired."

To test drive the course, click here.

Dr. Frank

Permalink -- click for full blog post "Confidence can make or break your chances of success"

May 21, 2012

Let food be your medicine

Let food be your medicine and let your medicine be your food - famous words of Hippocrates. And so preach Candace Corson, M.D. And Tom Corson-Knowles in their informative e-book, Dr. Corson's Top 5 Nutrition Tips, available as a Kindle e-book on Amazon.

I've been interested in nutrition ever since I was introduced to the topic over 40 years ago. A life-changing event occurred when my first wife's aunt, a Grey Nun and a nurse, gave me a copy of Prevention Magazine. It knocked me off my feet and instantly changed my eating habits, principally in not eating sugars, empty calories and soft drinks. I don't think I swaffed down a handful of Coca Colas since that time. My healthy eating habits have also influenced my two children who are more even careful about what they eat than I am.

Dr. Corson's handy little book has added to my knowledge of healthy eating and I highly recommend it. Not only does it give up-to-date information on new research, it also has links to high-quality nutritional products - discounted by the way - valuable books and weight-reducing videos. It is intended to "help people reach their cosmetic fitness goals by educating them on proper nutrition and exercise guidelines."

Find out:

  • how much fruit and vegetables you should really be eating everyday
  • why it is not necessary to take a multivitamin or individual vitamin supplements like vitamin E
  • the real danger of toxic fats
  • the value of taking a vitamin D supplement
  • why it is not okay to eat "everything" in moderation
  • why eating animal proteins and fats is not a good idea.
There is one chapter I would recommend the authors add to the e-book. It would have to do with helping people put into action the recommendations they make in the book. We all know it so difficult to get people to change any habit, particularly their eating habits.

The authors recommend, for example, reading the label on food products you buy, a habit I practice myself all the time. They could add to the list to make it easy for people to do what they know is right, but don't know how to put into practice.

For more about healthy eating, check the interview with Dr. Joe Schwarz, A Scientific Approach to Healthy Eating.

Dr. Frank

Click for more info

May 14, 2012

Pains and joys of attending Brooklyn Prep in the early 60's

I got an e-mail this past week from a classmate at Brooklyn Prep about the upcoming 50th anniversary of the class of 64. He was interested in organizing a class reunion and putting together a type of Blue Book of profiles of surviving and interested class members.

Suddenly there was a flurry of e-mails from alumni supporting the idea and promising to attend.

One alumnus, however, said he wasn't coming because of the emotional, psychological and even physical pain he still carries. There was the bullying and harassment of students and teachers and the unjustified homophobia directed at him.

The Prep was certainly not a bed of roses. I experienced my own pains:

  • bullying and intimidation by the "tough guys" who didn't know better
  • the stress of intense competition from some the brightest minds around the city
  • Father Engel's inelegant treatment of me when he threw me down the staircase
  • trudging back and forth for two hours on the A train from Queens
  • swimming naked in the pool in swim class as an adolescent just discovering my own sexuality
Then there were the joys:
  • Loving Mr. Luongo's brilliant lectures on the American Civil War
  • Being introduced to the heart-warming songs of Edith Piaf by Mr. Moroney
  • Taking a class field trip to Washington, D.C. with Rev. DeGiacomo
  • Attending my first opera, Aida, at the Met with Mr. Winans
  • Participating in fascinating discussions with the "smart" guys at Mr. Winans' apartment.
Interestingly, I just finished reading Creative Mind and Success by Ernest Holmes, a new thought advocate writing at the beginning of the 20th century. I'm a practicing Catholic and don't necessarily adhere to all the principles of this school of thought. Nevertheless, I am attracted to the positive mindset and the power of controlled thinking that Holmes and other writers like James Allen, author of As You Think, espouse, as well as John Kobel, esoteric teacher.

Holmes talks about transcending previous conditions: "No matter what has happened in the past, so transcend the old experience, that it will no longer have any effect upon us . . . All we have to do is to drop the undesired thing from our thought, forgive ourselves and start anew. We must never even think of it again. Let go of it once and for all."

Holmes also refers to the power of love and forgiveness. "Did not Jesus at the moment of sacrifice ask the Father forgive all the wrong that was done to him? Shall we suppose we can do it a better way? If we do not at the present time love all people, then we must learn to do it, and the way will become easier, when all condemnation is gone forever and we behold only good."

I believe Life Starts now. If we look within daily, we can create a fulfilled life no matter what our age.

Dr. Frank

May 7, 2012

Why are these people happy?

I know and associate with a quite a few people. Most of them I am pleased to say seem to be happy with their lives. Here are three individuals that are exceptionally happy. I had the pleasure to share some great moments with them this past week. It got me thinking why they are so happy.

  • Sigi, my long-time friend and mentor, just celebrated his 90th birthday with about 25 of his Early Bird pool friends at breakfast this past week. Sigi has many reasons to be happy. He has a huge network of family and friends. Everyone loves him. He is always learning. He is curious and is a great listener. He epitomizes better than anyone I know the four agreements of Miguel Ruiz. He's impeccable with his word and never gossips. He doesn't take anything personally. He doesn't make unnecessary assumptions about anything. He always does his best. Sigi will surely continue to spread his wisdom and good humor to everyone who knows him well past 100.
  • Charlie B., another long-time friend, is a retired teacher and a self-trained singer of popular French ballads and songs. My wife and I had the pleasure recently of sharing his company for lunch for her birthday. Charlie also has a humungous social network of family and friends with whom he constantly interacts. He is one of the most generous and thoughtful persons I know. He shared with his us some of his secrets for happiness: look in the mirror everyday and smile to yourself, laugh whenever you can, and take 5, 10 or 15 minutes once or twice a day to reflect on a positive phrase or idea.
  • Dr. Toni LaMotta, my weekly brainstorming partner, is a new-thought minister and creator of the Midlife Messages blog. Toni has been facing severe physical challenges over the past year. But she has never lost her smile or intense desire to help others cope with midlife transition and understand the power of spirituality. Each week we exchange business ideas, successes of the previous week, and tasks for the following week. I love talking to Toni because she herself is so grounded and keeps me grounded in what is important, what is meaningful. Check the words of wisdom she shares in one of her blog posts called, Wisdom - To Celebrate Growing Older. Here are three ideas that struck me:
  1. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
  2. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
  3. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Sigi seems to be a happy person by nature. Charlie B. and Dr. Toni, on the other hand, work actively on creating their life and being happy.

Check out the e-course, Shifting Gears at Midlife, for guidance in creating your own life.
Share with us some of the happy people you know.
Dr. Frank

Apr 30, 2012

Music and happiness

Being an American ex-pat living in Montreal for many years as well as being a Francophile offers me the best of both English and French-Canadian culture. For example, I get to see great English theatre at either the Centaur or the Segal Theatre and I get to listen to entertaining French music at local bistros.

The other evening I attended a tribute to Dalida, an iconic French singer, who died twenty-five years ago on May 3, 1987 at age 54. Claire Garand, an engaging, high-energy local French-Canadian singer, sang her heart out performing over 20 songs that Dalida popularized from the late 50's to the 80's. Claire gave her show at the Parc des Princes bistro before almost a hundred devotees of French songs.

I was thoroughly enthralled by the whole experience. It lead me to wonder about the connection between music and happiness. Surprisingly, Sonja Lyubomirsky in her marvelous book, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, doesn't talk about the connection between music and happiness.

Yet we know from recent scientific studies that "people love music for much the same reason they're drawn to sex, drugs, gambling and delicious food, according to new research. When you listen to tunes that move you, the study found, your brain releases dopamine, a chemical involved in both motivation and addiction", according to Discovery News.

In the case of Dalida, it is sad to think that music can bring so much pleasure and so much pain. During her brilliant career Dalida sold 150 million records and brought joy to millions around the world. Yet her own life was increasingly filled with torment and unhappiness. Three of her numerous lovers committed suicide. She killed herself because as she wrote in her suicide note, "Life has become unbearable for me... Forgive me."

Click for more info

Apr 25, 2012

Some more interesting websites from the distaff side

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently joined a private forum. I shared some articles from the websites of three of the amazing people in the group. Here is a sample of the work of three more members in the group that will surely interest you.

  • Jennifer Boykin runs the sassy blog Life After Tampons which talks to midlife women who have been hit in the face by life: physically, emotionally, economically. Her most recent post, Do You Have Staying Power? 5 Strategies to Stick with Your Goals, shares her top strategies for sticking with your goals. Here are the first two: view life as a series of small "wins" rather than one ultimate win and put together a series of "wins." Go for it! I believe that success, even in small things, builds on success.
  • Frances Arnold writes about nutrition, yoga, cooking, gardening, and love on her very own Frances L Arnold's Blog. In her March 25th post, Courageously Commit to Your Life, she shares with us her fears and dreams. She's now taking on a new practice to overcome her fears and deal with self-limiting beliefs. It's a practice that we should try emulating.
  • Deonne Kahler has created Life on the High Wire, an irreverent blog that is aimed at creative, independent-minded people who strive to do and be better. Check her informative article, The One Thing You Must Do to Have Financial Freedom for the Rest of Your Life, in which she explains her strategy for being mortgage free. I referred to the article in my own piece, A house may not be an asset but it can be useful when in debt, appearing at my companion website, Money and Midlife.

Dr. Frank

Apr 23, 2012

What's new at Happiness After Midlife

Did you know that Pythagoras, the 6th century B.C. Greek mathematician and philosopher, would not teach anyone who was not mentally and physically fit according to esoteric teacher John Kobel.

In his article on health and good nutrition recently published, Tom Corson-Knowles, founder of Authentic Health Coaching, offers other quotes on the importance of health. According to Tom, good health is essential for living a truly happy, fulfilling life. He provides some simple actions for creating and maintaining good health.

I recently joined a private forum and I'd like to share the websites of three of the amazing people who are participating.

  • Elana Miller runs the blog The Psychosphere which talks about "personal development, relationships, entrepreneurship, psychiatry, spirituality and all-around kick-ass living." In wonderful post called Nine Ways To Be A Spiritual Warrior she deals with being mindful and setting a daily intention among other things. These are two important daily activities in my own life.
  • Matt Spaeth writes for Food Integrity Now, a blog devoted to truth and transparency in food labeling. He believes that people have every right to know exactly what they are buying and eating. His article, The Farmers vs. Monsanto, keeps us abreast of the debate over genetically-modified food and Monsanto. I recently read that Monsanto is the world's most hated company.
  • Diane Kern has a wonderful blog, Phenomenal Mind, and writes from the point of view of neuroscience, quantum theory and ancient wisdom. I love her section, Buddhist Pause, offering ways and means of resting from the engaging demands of a complex world. In her article, Not all thoughts are created equal, she explores the concept of "Mind stuff" or what I call the background noise in our minds and suggests ways of dealing with it. Diane gives her take on what I do regularly: self-observation of my thoughts.

More about other members of the private forum in my next blog post on Wednesday.

Dr. Frank

Permalink -- click for full blog post "What's new at Happiness After Midlife"

Apr 16, 2012

Is procrastination hurting you? Find out how to overcome it

Last week I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Irena O'Brien, the Get-Out-of-Your-Own-Way Expert & Business Coach. Irena has written some excellent articles on Happiness After Midlife, including A Ten Step Wealth Building Plan and The #1 Wealth Creation Secret.

Irena now specializes in working with frustrated people, particularly business owners, in overcoming procrastination. She defines this nagging problem as "voluntary delays that undermine performance or hurt you in some way." According to research it affects 20% of people.

Irena is giving a FREE CALL dealing with procrastination on April 26 at 2:00 EDT. She'll talk about why time management doesn't work and the top 10 reasons why people can't deal with procrastination.

You'll want to mark it down in your agenda. I'll be publishing the interview on May 2 in the Happiness After Midlife Newsletter. So Sign-up now in the box on the right and get a free gift.

Find out more about the interview with Irena.

Dr. Frank

Permalink -- click for full blog post "Is procrastination hurting you? Find out how to overcome it"

Apr 14, 2012

What you need to know about money and spirituality

My dear colleague, Dr. Toni LaMotta, a thought leader in issues related to the spirituality of aging, has a special offer this week.

Money and Spirituality

She has gift for you - it's a new project she's working on - a Website that will have ALL the techniques, articles and prayer support for a life of Prosperity and Abundance - and yes, that includes but is not limited to money.

This week, she is offering those who check out the new site, her M.O.N.E.Y. (My Own Natural Energy Yield) e-book for just $5. It normally sells for $19.95

And next week, she will be supporting people in taking a FREE 40 day Prosperity challenge/class. I hope you'll consider joining her.


She'd love to hear what you think.

You'll find lots more to ponder on her BLOG, her new FACEBOOK FAN PAGE, and her Twitter connection.
Dr. Frank

Apr 12, 2012

Looking for a motivation boost?

I just finished reading Aleks Srbinoski's brilliant little book, Motivation Now: Productivity and Persuasion Secrets For Modern Day Excellence and Effectiveness (60 Minute Success Series)

Ever since I had the opportunity to interview Aleks Srbinoski, I was struck by his energy, optimism, sense of humor and clarity of thought. These same qualities shine through his brilliant little book.

It is full of gems - what he calls "secrets" - for feeling great and being motivated. The book is based on distinctions and experiments with his many clients over the years as well as his broad reading in positive psychology.

Although the little book is a quick read being just over a hundred pages, you will want to return to it frequently. It contains so many powerful ideas, useful examples and practical activities.

I also liked his short list of references at the end of the book. He provides a quick reference "Cheat Sheet" that you can keep nearby to remind you of important notions.

Here is just a taste of the richness of the book, without necessarily spoiling your own learning experience. He describes how to use decisive language, how to overcome fear and procrastination, how to maintain motivation through praise, and how to generate motivating emotions.

The book is a store house of "positive" words ranging from "affirmation" to "visualization." The three most important words in his tool kit begin with A, N and B. Can you guess what they are?

He also shares the seven P words that he uses in his "Positivity Pillars," the first beginning with "pleasure" and ending with "purpose."

Some of the distinctions that Aleks explores include external and internal rewards, negative and positive emotions, regular rewards and large rewards, and verbal and non-verbal praise.

Join in the fun. Don't miss this book!

Dr. Frank

Apr 11, 2012

What motivates you: personal growth or money?

Do you have headaches and stomach problems?
Do you have sleep problems?

If you do, these problems may be related to an overemphasis on extrinsic values or goals based on recent psychological studies. These values include "money, luxury, appearance, attractiveness, status, popularity, looks, and power," according to Kennon Sheldon, professor of psychology at the University of Missouri.

Studies show that money does not bring happiness and in fact my hurt happiness or our sense of well being.

Recent research also shows that if you are focused more on intrinsic values, such as personal growth or self-knowledge, you tend to be more happy than people who are driven by extrinsic values.

Our consumer-oriented society which focuses on extrinsic values does not make us happy. The "hedonic adaptation" principle comes into play here. You get accustomed very quickly to new material possessions. The initial fun and satisfaction wears off very fast.

In my own experience, I've found that the adaptive principle can also apply to those seeking personal growth. I know a number of people who constantly run from one personal growth guru to another. They never seem to be satisfied.

Having a higher income, on the other hand, may improve your "life evaluation" according to psychologist and Nobel prize winner Daniel Kahneman. He has asserted that earning the magic figure of $75,000 annually leads to a high level of emotional well-being.

My feeling is that we live in a world of abundance and that you are not limited by the amount of money you can earn, unless you think you are.

The latest psychological studies on the impact extrinsic and intrinsic values on our sense of well-being do make for fascinating reading. I take them with a grain of salt.

Why limit yourself to one or the other? I prefer a blend of both values. I'd like to have "my cake and eat it too." Wouldn't you?

Dr. Frank

Click for more info

Apr 9, 2012

Elements of an extraordinary future

Another activity from the e-course "Shifting Gears at Midlife"

Over the last three weeks I shared several activities from weeks one to three of the 5-week e-course Shifting Gears at Midlife by Dr. Fred Horowitz and myself.

The objective of the fourth week of the e-course is to distinguish the elements of an extraordinary future.

The second activity for week 4, a journal writing exercise, asks participants to answer this question:

Which emotional states or moods, which qualities will you generate, will you bring forth to support the ways of being that will increase the likelihood of you attaining an extraordinary future?

Here are only a few examples: courageous, unstoppable, centered, cheerful, creative, decisive ...

For more about the course, click here.

Buy it now.

Dr. Frank

Apr 6, 2012

It's my birthday!

It's time to celebrate my 65th birthday and to celebrate life.

I Promise Myself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind,
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to everyone I meet,
To make all my friends feel that there is something in them,
To look on the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true,
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best,
To be just as enthusiastic about success of others as I am about my own,
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future,
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and to have a smile ready for every living creature I meet,
To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others,
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble,
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world - not in loud words, but in great deeds,
To live in the faith that the world is on my side so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Adapted from Christen D. Larson, 1912, and shared with me by John Kobel, author of the powerful mind-changing program, 4 Weeks to Freedom: Unleash the Power of Your Mind.

Dr. Frank

Apr 5, 2012

What's new at Happiness After Midlife

  • Check out my guest blog post, 10 Questions to Ask Yourself for Healthy Aging, on Tom Corson -Knowles amazing website.

    I invite you to ask yourself 10 key questions for keeping your mind sharp and your body fit.

  • Check out the preview page on an interview I did today with Michel Gaudreau, an experienced real estate broker, on the issue of retirement planning and rental property transfer to children.

    The emotional and psychological considerations are perhaps more important than the financial and fiscal numbers. The interview will appear next week on April 11 on Happiness After Midlife.

    I want to wish everyone a happy and joyous Easter and Passover as well.

    Dr. Frank


Click for more info

Apr 2, 2012

Fulfillment and your unique connection to life

Another activity from the e-course "Shifting Gears at Midlife"

Over the last two weeks I shared several activities from weeks one and two of the 5-week e-course Shifting Gears at Midlife by Dr. Fred Horowitz and myself.

The objective of the third week of the e-course is to distinguish integrity, values, purpose, vision and mission.

The first activity for week three, a journal writing exercise, is called "Vision, values, purpose, mission, standards, and honoring your word." Here are some questions from the activity:

  • What are you really passionate about?
  • What really matters to you?
  • If someone were to observe you, what would they say matters to you?
  • Share your answers with a partner.
For more about the course, click here.

Buy it now.

Dr. Frank

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Apr 1, 2012

A Prayer for Those Suffering

For Christians around the world, today is Palm Sunday marking Christ's short-lived triumphant entry into Jerusalem, riding a donkey, a symbol of peace.

Palm Sunday also denotes a series of prophetic events leading to Christ's Crucifixion on Good Friday. He suffered unbearable physical pain at the hands of the Romans and mental anxiety feeling abandoned by his Father. However, Christ would triumphantly rise from the dead three days later on Easter Sunday.

I know so many people who are enduring unbearable suffering, facing painful physical, spiritual, psychological or financial challenges.

A dear colleague of mine going through especially difficult moments indeed sent me this meditation:


Pain teaches a most counter-intuitive thing — that we must go down before we even know what up is. In terms of the ego, most religions teach in some way that we all must “die before we die, and then we will not be afraid of dying.” Suffering of some sort seems to be the only thing strong enough to destabilize our arrogance and our ignorance. I would define suffering very simply as “whenever you are not in control.”

If religion cannot find a meaning for human suffering, humanity is in major trouble. All healthy religion shows you what to do with your pain. Great religion shows you what to do with the absurd, the tragic, the nonsensical, the unjust.

If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it.

If there isn’t some way to find some deeper meaning to our suffering, to find that God is somewhere in it, and can even use it for good, we will normally close up and close down. The natural movement of the ego is to protect itself so as not to be hurt again. The soul just wants meaning, and then it can live.

Adapted from Richard Rohr, Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality.

If you share my belief in an all-powerful God and the importance of religion, you may want to share this meditation with a loved one who is suffering.

Dr. Frank

Click for more info

Mar 26, 2012

Is your life a "game" worth playing?

Another activity from the e-course "Shifting Gears at Midlife"

Last week I shared two activities from the first week of the 5-week e-course Shifting Gears at Midlife by Dr. Fred Horowitz and myself.

The objective of the second week of the e-course is to recognize that there is no inherent meaning or purpose to your life. You have the capacity to be the "creator" of the game you make up.

The first activity for week two, a journal writing exercise, is called "Life is a Game." Here are some questions from the activity:

  • Do you take the time as a routine or habit to design and plan your life (long range and short range)?
  • How do you accomplish and produce results in your life (goals, visualization, prayer, manifesting or going with the flow)?
  • How effective are you in accomplishing what you've set out to accomplish? If you are setting goals, for example, how effective are you in realizing them?
For testimonials about the course, click here.

Buy it now while the Winter Sale lasts.

Dr. Frank

Mar 23, 2012

Check out the Discover Your Confidence e-Course now available

Discover your Confidence – a two-part multimedia e-course – is a 12-week program that gives you the tools to build and maintain your confidence.

Through a series of readings, exercises and practice periods, Discover your Confidence teaches you how to develop (or regain) your confidence, a process created by author and coach, Monique Pambrun.

See the Free Demo.

What people are saying about Discover your confidence:

Ennio Vita-Finzi, CITP, Managing Partner, The PHOENIX-PARAGON Group:
I thoroughly enjoyed every one of the steps and, in particular, the various short exercises with examples. The course is very positive and uplifting and talks about many of the concepts that I believe in personally, so the experience was extremely worthwhile. I am sure that it will be very successful and will help many people in their search for a better, confident and more fulfilling life.

How can Discover your Confidence help you?

Confidence and self-esteem are two of the best predictors of performance and resilience in the face of stress and challenges. And yet, statistics reveal 95% of children and adults experience lack of confidence, self belief or low self esteem sometime in their life.

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Dr. Frank

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