Happiness After Midlife BlogThe Happiness After Midlife blog shares my perspective on money, career change, spirituality, and whatever touches my fancy. It provides regular updates on what's happening at HAM.
Feb 3, 2012 Update on Happiness After MidlifeHere is the latest news from HAM.
Dr. Frank Feb 1, 2012 Balanced AbundanceMy colleague, Berel Weiner, "The Bilingual Coach for Francophone Entrepreneurs," sent me these words of wisdom. For Berel, the intersection of life and business is where we find what we are all looking for: Balanced Abundance or optimal success and happiness
Stephen Covey, author
Daniel Ek, CEO, Spotify
Dennis Crowley, CEO, FourSquare
Sarah Prevette, Founder, Sprouter Click below for more quotes. Dr. Frank Jan 30, 2012 How do you relate to aging?A colleague of mine sent me a link to Patricia Cohen's new book, In Our Prime: The Invention of Middle Age. Although I haven't read the book, I consulted the comments of reviewers on Amazon.com. Here is one comment: If the author is trying to give people in midlife a pep talk, fine. I agree that most people in middle-age look younger than their parents did at that age and that people today remain more active longer than those mid-lifers of previous generations. But to ignore or deny that countless people struggle with midlife issues is downright cruel and disrespectful. Many at midlife DO experience empty-nest syndrome. Their children have defined their lives and their identities for years and the loneliness and loss of purpose are difficult to overcome. Careers come to a close, dreams die, parents become ill, the midlifers themselves often find these years to be filled with their own burgeoning health issues. For those still raising children and working and taking care of aging parents while trying to come to terms with menopause and weight gain and loss of vitality, financial struggles in a failing economy, life at this point can be grueling. And yes, I believe mid-life crises are very real and necessary. This is a period in people's lives when losses have to be mourned in order to regroup, recreate and move on. It CAN be done though many are often too weary or jaded to make the effort. This person would seem to an adherent of Paradigm 1. For those following this blog, you know I espouse Paradigm 2. Click below for the complete article. Dr. Frank Jan 27, 2012 Memory lane, loving parents and Brooklyn PrepJanuary is a special month for me because both my parents died in that month. I can't believe that my working-class Dad "kicked the bucket," as he would say about others in his typically irreverent manner, 18 years ago. One minute he was shoveling snow outside his Ozone Park, New York duplex and the next he was lying dead on the basement floor. My Mom died five years in Chicago, after a long illness. Two pieces came over the news wires this past week that brought back memories of my parents. The first was an article entitled, A Loving Mom Prevents Mid-Life Illnesses. "A new study finds that receiving plenty of nurturing, motherly love while young may prevent illnesses such as diabetes and heart disease well into middle age, even for those raised in severe poverty." Even though I wasn't raised in severe poverty in my working-class family, I can relate to these findings. It wasn't so much my mother's "motherly love" that made all the difference in my life but her tough love. She was the one who sent me to the Ursuline nuns at Blessed Nativity elementary school. And she was the one who sent me to the Jesuits at Brooklyn Prep, the topic of a piece in the New York Times this week by Joseph Berger. Click below for more. Dr. Frank Jan 23, 2012 What is your relationship with money?In my early childhood, money was just not discussed in my working-class family. My father was a professional cook with the US Merchant Marine, sailing out of the port of New York. He did that job for 25 years. My mother controlled the purse strings, but she was dependent on my Dad's fixed salary. They would always say you have to work hard to make money. You have to earn your wages and work like a bloody slave to get ahead. The implicit message was that you have to live within your means. It was important to save money, deny yourself luxuries, and share what little you had with your children and grand children. I am thankful to this day for the generosity of my parents. They put money aside to pay for my private schooling at the elementary and high school levels. I was fortunate to earn a four-year scholarship to Boston College - all expenses paid, including my bi-weekly laundry expenses. For me, money was never that important; I always had "enough." I was lucky enough, however, to earn a six-figure income for several years as a textbook writer. Click below for Randy Gage's book. Dr. Frank Jan 17, 2012 More about the Spirituality of Aging with Dr. Toni LaMottaI had the pleasure of interviewing Rev. Dr. Toni LaMotta this morning about the work she is doing on the "Spirituality of Aging." Dr. Toni has become a close friend and a mastermind partner in the work we each do in addressing the needs and concerns of midlifers and beyond. She assists in awakening people to their spiritual life and its inexpressible truths. I assist people on the more practical side of life - finding their special calling and creating a new future for themselves by starting an online business (see my new website, Money and Midlife, when it launches on January 31.) In the conversation I had with Dr. Toni LaMotta, she talks about : - the ups and downs in her life in the past two years since the first interview with HAM - why her new focus on the "Spirituality of Aging." Click below for more. Dr. Frank Jan 16, 2012 Why a new web site: Money and Midlife.com?I'm launching my new web site on January 31. It is an educational site aimed at midlifers and beyond (aged 45 to 65), particularly teachers, professionals I know well. Its focus is on using the Internet as a tool for making money and a vehicle for starting an online business. Why am I doing this? For one thing, I'm passionate about the topic of using the Internet to make additional income. For another, there is a crying need for information, advice, and tools to empower mid lifers and beyond to take charge of their financial situation. As an infoprenuer, I’m constantly learning about the ins and outs of the Internet. But with changes in the tech world taking place at lightning speed, I sometimes feel like the Historian Will Durant. For more, click below. Dr. Frank Jan 14, 2012 Inspiring and informative websitesI had a delightful conversation yesterday with Sylvie Labelle, an old colleague of mine. She is a specialist and coach in creative and innovative leadership, working with corporations and teaching at different universities. We had not spoken for a while so we talked about our latest projects. We then started exchanging the latest websites and books that have caught our interest. I talked in glowing terms about John Kobel and recommended his website, 4 Weeks to Freedom. As I've written before, John's primary message is that we are responsible for everything that happens in our life - including our sicknesses and diseases. We can create the life of our choosing through our conscious and subconscious minds, but only if we choose to. Sadly this is not the case for most people. At lunch the other day, he told me he brings a smile to everyone he meets and seeks to bring a smile to their faces too. He won't do anything if it is not fun. For my Montreal-area readers, John is holding a free information session about his potentially life-changing program on Sunday, January 15, in Old Montreal, on 10 King Street from 2:00 to 4:00 pm. If you are in Montreal on Sunday, drop in. I'll be there with my wife, Jackie, and my step-daughter, Valerie. Click below for Sylvie's amazing recommendation: Waking from Sleep and the Web of Love. Dr. Frank Jan 12, 2012 When is "enough" enough?Recently, I came across The Legacy Project, a goldmine of wisdom culled from the elderly (people in their 70's and beyond) in response to the question: “What are the most important lessons you have learned over the course of your life?" On the topic of money, they all seemed to agree that it is great being financially comfortable, but there is a point where "enough is enough." This relates to the notion of the Fulfillment Curve that Dominguez and Robin describe in their book Your Money or Life. It’s a simple graph that shows the relationship between the experience of fulfilment and the amount of money you spend. The authors argue that you reach your peak fulfilment level when you have just “enough.” After that point you overspend, clutter your life and reduce your level of fulfilment. For more about this see my article "Midlife Challenges Take Many Forms." Click below for the complete post. Dr. Frank Jan 10, 2012 Are the 40's the best time of your life?I recently came across a piece entitled, "Get a Midlife," by Patricia Cohen writing in The New York Times Sunday Review. She begins her article by stating: "YOU may be surprised to learn that when researchers asked people over 65 to pick the age they would most like to return to, the majority bypassed the wild and wrinkle-less pastures of their teens, 20s and 30s, and chose their 40s." I was indeed surprised because the best time I would like to return to is right now, in my mid-sixties. But that's me! In her article, Cohen referred to research done on the way midlifers handle their finances. It seems that midlife is our best time for making financial decisions. "Both sexes will find that their judgment, particularly in regard to financial matters and politics, reaches a high point in middle age. In a 2010 article for the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, economists who studied how different age groups handled 10 different financial transactions involving car, home equity and mortgage loans as well as credit cards found that people between 43 and 63 were best at sizing up the options and choosing well." Click below to read more. Dr. Frank Jan 9, 2012 More Tips on Peak Brain FunctioningHere are some more tips on maintaining peak brain functioning and priming yourself for entrepreneurship at any age from Encore! Encore! Seniors (50 Plus) as Entrepreneurs: Their Time Has Come by Joe Wasylyk. In a previous post, I looked at the first five of ten tips based on Dr. Robert Restak's recommendations in Older and Wiser. Here are the other five that I incorporate in my life regularly: 6. Accept life as it is, including your present physical condition - and death as well I may add. I'm currently following Dr. Muesse's course in mindfulness and meditation from the Great Courses, as I mentioned in a previous post. He contends that one path to happiness is accepting the loss of everything, even the loss of our own body to death. 7. Develop stimulating interests. I admire people like Sigy, soon to be 90 years old, who is constantly learning about philosophy, art and history from the Great Courses mentioned above. I admire my wife, Jackie, who goes into her own state of flow whenever she attends a new exhibit at a museum. The latest show we attended was the "Big Bang" at le Musée des beaux-arts de Montréal, an innovative, multidisciplinary experience. Click below for more tips. Dr. Frank Jan 6, 2012 Use Your Brain or Lose ItI'm currently reading Encore! Encore! Seniors (50 Plus) as Entrepreneurs: Their Time Has Come by Joe Wasylyk. It's a wonderful little book with a loud and clear message to seniors: it is possible to be more creative and productive, have a prosperous retirement life, and contribute more to society at any age. Bravo! In his book, Joe refers to Dr. Robert Restak, who in Older and Wiser, encourages seniors to use their brain or lose it. Dr. Restak proposes 10 ways to keep your mind active and prime yourself for entrepreneurship at any age. Here are a couple of practices that I have incorporated in my own life: 1. Take advantage of educational opportunities whenever you can. For me, it's learning Spanish. 2. Be curious. I'm always asking my friends and acquaintances questions about what they are up to. Recently, a friend told me about the volunteer work he does regularly at a residence for the down and out. For more practices, click below. Dr. Frank Jan 4, 2012 The Spirituality of AgingRecently, I had the pleasure of reading a draft of Dr. Toni LaMotta's new e-book, The Spirituality of Aging. I thought so highly of the book, I wrote a testimonial for it. Here is what I sent Toni: Are you afraid of getting older? Do you have trouble living in the present moment? Are you unsatisfied with who you are? Does your ego still get in your way? Dr. Toni LaMotta's The Spirituality of Aging may be just what you need to think and act differently. She takes us on a spiritual - as well as practical - journey into the profound importance of spirituality as we age. In her own authentic and vibrant voice, Dr. Toni shares humorous stories and heartfelt insights into the meaning and purpose of our existence. The Spirituality of Aging deeply touched me and made me laugh! Click for more information. Dr. Frank Dec 31, 2011 Happy New Year
Happy New Year, Joyeux Nouvel An, Feliz Año Nuevo, Glückliches neues Jahr, 新年快乐, La mulţi ani, С Новым годом I want to wish everyone a healthy, joyous and profitable 2012. At the beginning of the new year, I'll be launching a new website, www.moneyandmidlife.com. I'm excited about this new venture.Money and Midlife is about creating and living an abundant life, one that is abounding, full, generous, and sufficient, not one that is lacking. It’s about viewing money as a vital element in our sense of well being, but as only one piece of the happiness puzzle. From my own unique perspective and that of guest writers, there will be strategies and tips geared to midlifers and beyond about:
Join me for the journey. Stay tuned for the site launch. Let me know what other topics you want to learn about. I'd love to hear from you. Dr. Frank Dec 30, 2011 Why you should know about MCIMCI is mild cognitive impairment, a transitional stage between normal aging and dementia, according to Wikipedia. Its symptoms include poor judgment and impulsiveness. Why should you know about it? It may be affecting your parents or close friends. In his book, The Vigilant Investor, Pat Huddleston refers to medical research showing that “35 percent of people above 71 years old suffer” from this condition, amounting to 25 million Americans. They are easy prey for unethical brokers. What often happens is that dishonest brokers insinuate themselves into the lives of seniors. Unfortunately, many seniors are unwilling to take action against a broker who has won their confidence. What can you do about it? Click below for the complete post. I did an audio interview with Pat Huddleston. Send me an e-mail at dr.frank@happiness-after-midlife.com to join my member list and I'll send you the interview. Dr. Frank Dec 28, 2011 Develop a prosperity consciousnessWould having more money have a positive impact on your life? Do you think having a prosperity consciousness would lead to having more money? Dr. Toni LaMotta, the midlife mentor and an innovative thinker on the spirituality of aging, has an interesting story on developing a prosperity consciousness. The story comes from her forthcoming e-book, M.O.N.E.Y. My Own Natural Energy Field. "Two friends, Harry and Joe, went fishing one day, The fish were biting well and both men enjoyed reeling in fish after fish. Every time Harry caught a big fish, he'd put it in the ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever Joe caught a big fish, he'd always throw it back in the water. Harry watched this go on all day long without saying anything. He finally got tired of seeing Joe waste so many perfectly good fish and could no longer keep quiet about it. "Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?" he asked. To which Joe replied, "Well, I only have a small frying pan." Click below for the complete post. Dr. Frank Dec 26, 2011 Does more income equal more happiness?The other day I was having lunch with Irena O’Brien, a contributing writer at Happiness After Midlife on the topic of wealth building. We were talking about the possibilities for generating multiple streams of income through an online business. I mentioned that it takes the right niche, imagination, hard work and luck. There is certainly nothing wrong about working hard at what you enjoy and creating substantial income. However, there is always a flip side. If pursuing a level of income means being stressed, overworked, spending more than you earn to keep up with the Joneses, and eventually becoming indebted, you may be "doing something wrong." An overemphasis on materialism and over consumption is known as "affluenza" and it could have unfortunate consequences (PBS first aired a one-hour special on the topic in 1997. In an article entitled, "The great work debate: Money vs. happiness," Valerie Young of www.changingcourse.com refers to the work of Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, authors of one of my favourite books, Your Money or Your Life.
Click below for the complete post. Dr. Frank Dec 23, 2011 Creative entrepreneurship in midlife and beyondAre you interested in re-inventing yourself and starting your own business in the second half of your life? If you are, you are not alone. The Kaufmann Index of Entrepreneurial Activity is a leading indicator of new business creation in the United States. In the March 2011 report, it reported the following findings: From 2009 to 2010, “An aging population and increasing rate of entrepreneurship among older adults has led to rising share of new entrepreneurs in the fifty-five to sixty-four age group. The age group represented 14.5 percent of new entrepreneurs in 1996, whereas it represented 22.9 percent of new entrepreneurs in 2010.” Older Americans are getting into the act too! Richard Charlton is a 71-year-old entrepreneur who created TechTown, a successful business incubator for entrepreneurs. He’s now involved in Boom! The New Economy, a program designed to help Detroit adults over 50 transition to new careers as well entrepreneurship and volunteer service. Click below for some wise advice from Charlton. Dr. Frank Dec 21, 2011 Inspired by John Kobel, creator of the “4 Weeks to Freedom” seriesThis week I got an unexpected Christmas gift from John Kobel, creator of the “4 Weeks to Freedom” series. He invited me to attend the fourth week of his series. John describes himself as an esoteric teacher. He believes – just as I do – that no matter where you are in your life it is never too late to start over. See his profile in the December 12 blog post. John is one of the most positive, happy, energetic and creative individuals I have ever met. The fourth session of his program is called “Unleash the power of your mind: Creating your life.” His primary message in this session is that each one of us has the power to direct our thoughts to the reality we wish, whether it be changing negative thought patterns, achieving personal fulfillment or attaining new levels of financial success. He believes that passion is one of the keys to success. In his materials, he asserts that “most people do not achieve their goals because their goals are not high enough to excite them. . . Challenge yourself with great thoughts and great goals.” For the complete post, click below. Dr. Frank Dec 19, 2011 Money MythsWhat rating would you give the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10, one being the least important to 10 being the most important? 1. Money gives me safety. 2. I could do such interesting things if I were rich. 3. Money lets me help people. 4. I could start a fun business if I had money. If you answered more than five for any of these statements, you are probably buying into some of the common myths about money. Barbara Sher discusses these myths in her book, It’s only too late if you don’t start now. Click below for the full post.
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