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Jed Diamond Expert Page Interview 1: Male menopauseJed Diamond on male menopause - Jed distinguishes Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) from two closely related syndromes. To start with, he summarizes the key issues that men have to deal with. Then he debunks the myth of the midlife crisis. The interview touches on three related syndromes: menopause in males, male depression and Irritable Male Syndrome. Each of these has a significant impact on the well-being of the male and his family. Read the interview Interview 2: Male female relationshipsJed Diamond on Mr. Mean - Jed talks about supporting good male female relationships through self-awareness and counseling. He suggests that male irritability and anger can be overcome by not avoiding the problem. Listen to the interview Male menopause
Dr. Fred: Jed, your book, opened up my eyes to what I'm dealing with as a man. I can identify with the "irritable male" and have recommended the book to many of my clients and associates. What had you choose males as a focus for your writing and clinical practice? When I began working in the field 44 years ago, most of the focus was on women. I felt the field of men's health needed a champion. Dr. Fred: Especially as they relate to the Third Age (45 to 75 years of age), would you summarize what are the key issues that men are dealing with? There are issues that both men and women must deal with as we age: Aches and pains, illness, dying parents, young-adult children, etc. But there are also issues that are unique to men such as Male Menopause, Irritable Male Syndrome, and male-type depression that I discuss in my books. Dr. Fred: Much of what we offer our readers has to do with debunking the myth of midlife crisis and relating to midlife as a transition. What is your view on this subject? I see mid-life, in many ways, as similar to adolescence. At both times of life we are making a major transition. In the case of adolescence, we are moving from childhood to first adulthood. In the case of mid-life, we are making the transition from first adulthood to what I call superadulthood. For the first time we have a chance to be truly who we were meant to be. Dr. Fred: In the products and services you offer, you write on depression, menopause and irritable male syndrome. How are they related? I think of these issues as three separate but overlapping circles. Male Menopause affects all men, sometime between the ages of 40 and 55, though it can start as early as 35 or as late as 65. Irritable male syndrome affects a smaller, but still significant number of men (perhaps 60-80%). Male-type depression affects a smaller number of men. We've assumed that women suffer depression at rates that are twice the rate of men. But my research shows that many depressed men are underdiagnosed and undertreated becasue we use the wrong criteria for diagnosis. Dr. Fred: How would you distinguish or differentiate (key aspects) Irritable Male Syndrome from similar syndromes? Irritable Male syndrome has four key causes: Hormonal fluctuations, changes in brain chemistry, increased stress, and changes in male identity. It takes a skilled practitioner to distinguish IMS from such things as depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, ADHD and other disorders. Dr. Fred: You say that "IMS is ultimately about violence." Would you elaborate on this? We live in a world that is violent. We see it expressed in childhood where children are mistreated (including being circumcised, which I believe is a form of child sexual abuse). As we get older this destructive childrearing expresses itself in irritability, hypersensitivity, anger, and rage. When it is turned inward it can lead to suicide. When turned outward it can lead to violence and war. Dr. Fred: What is it about men that has them be susceptible to IMS? Some is our inherent hormone complement. Having testosterone makes us vulnerable to aggression. Many are familiar with the rage that results from taking anabolic steroids (so called 'roid rage). We would see that in football players or weightlifters. Though it is a problem, it has really been overhyped. The real problem it turns out is not too much testosterone, but too little. When males lose their testosterone, they become more restless, irritable, and angry. Changing exercise patterns and dietary changes can be helpful. So can testosterone supplementation for some men. Dr. Fred: Why is it important for women to be aware of this syndrome? IMS may be a problem going on within men, but it often impacts women. Many women have told me that their husbands irritability, anger, and withdrawal is undermining their marriage and causing problems within the family. They seek help for the man, but also for themselves. Dr. Fred: In our culture, men tend to have a "lone ranger" mentality. They're not overly communicative and often in denial about issues like depression and IMS. What can their female partners do that would assist their male partners in coming to terms with these issues? Men are often afraid to seek help. They see it has unmanly. This includes even going in for their annual medical checkup. As one male client put it. "I go in for my annual check-up maybe once in 10 years." Women are often the ones who gently, but firmly tell the man that he needs to get checked out. I have a whole program I've developed for women on how to help themselves while they are helping the man in their lives. Dr. Fred: What in your view would most contribute to Third Agers experiencing authentic happiness? We need to accept who we are and that includes the different changes that men and women experience as we age. Becoming an older man poses different challenges than becoming an older woman. We can learn a great deal from each other. But to do that we have to be willing to let go of "right" and "wrong" and seek ways to communicate and heal. Dr. Fred: What new projects are you working on? I'm working on two new books: "Mr. Mean: Saving Yourself and Rescuing Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome" as well as "7 Secrets for Surviving and Thriving When Civilization Sinks." People can receive my free e-newsletter and read my latest articles by going to my web site
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Male female relationships
In this interview with Jed Diamond, he speaks to the issue of male female relationships which is the basis of his recent book, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome. It's important for males and females to be willing to communicate and get support for the "Irritable Male Syndrome." Dr. Frank You share much of your own personal experience in your latest book, Mr. Mean? What did you see as the need to write it? Dr. Fred Mr. Mean answers 32 questions that are most important to women (and men) for keeping their relationship alive and well. What does it look like when a midlife man is “mean” and why do so many midlife men turn mean? Dr. Frank Based on your research, a typical thing that Mr. Mean says to his partner in life is, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.” How do you suggest that women handle this situation? Dr. Fred How does a woman who’s in a relationship with Mr. Mean deal with the effect of IMS on any children they have? Dr. Frank How does a woman in relationship with Mr. Mean help him when he refuses to admit he has a problem? Dr. Fred What are the things Mr. Mean should do once he recognizes he has IMS? Dr. Fred It's time to wrap up. Jed, give us some information where our listeners can find out more about your work, website, writings, and anything else you'd like to share.
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