"Happiness means different things to different people, of course. We prefer words like contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction. For us being alive is about creating possibilities rather than solving problems."
An interview with Howard Stone
Howard Stone is co-founder of 2young2retire and its spiritual center. He concluded a long career in international advertising sales and publishing and became a life coach at age 64. Rejecting the idea of retirement – he built a coaching practice on helping other mature people skip retirement, and discover their own later life callings and passions. Motivational speaking, coaching, training 2young2retire course facilitators, writing and www.2young2retire.com are his focus. Howard is a member of NextAge Speakers, and has addressed groups on the subject of reinventing retirement around the country.
In this interview, Howard shares aspects of the new retirement - that you're always too young to retire.
Dr. Frank At the ripe age of 64, you decided to leave a long career in marketing at a publishing company to become a life coach. What caused you to make that decision?
Howard Stone Kripalu Yoga, or meditation in motion; and the arrival of grandchildren. I began listening to another voice coming from my body-mind, and with the idea that, as an African quote has it, "this world is not given to us by our parents. It is loaned to us by our children and grandchildren." We also consulted a financial advisor and learned we had enough in reserve to follow our hearts.
Dr. FredYour website and book have the same title, 2 Young 2 Retire. What's your view on the typical way that most people relate to retirement - a time of not working and enjoying the "good life?"
Howard Stone There is no typical way any more. We believe fewer people in the baby boom generation equate leisure with the good life as previous generations did. Those who come to 2young2retire already have a different perspective on what their future may hold. This can include choosing a work/life balance; lifelong learning, spiritual exploration, community service, more family time. By the year 2025, only about 20% of the population will long for retirement, or whatever the new term will be. More people will be choosing careers that are in line with their values.
Dr. Frank Your book, 2 Young 2 Retire, first came out in 2002; a second edition appeared in 2004. It offers Third Agers 101 specific ideas for vocations and avocations to pursue, such as personal coach, home tutor, travel writer, yoga teacher, massage therapist, to name a few. Since the publication of the book, what have you found to be the most popular ideas for would-be-retirees?
Howard Stone In general, there is a trend toward self employment and the service professions. Sometimes these can be combined. More people 55 and older are becoming first time entrepreneurs than ever before, and we have identified many more than 101 opportunities since the book came out. Here’s one: Cool Career #113: Civil Celebrant
Here's a new but rapidly growing profession that we believe has huge potential as a 'retirement' career. Celebrancy got its start in Australia about 25 years ago and is widely accepted there. It is becoming established in the United States. Celebrants co-create and officiate at personalized ceremonies such as weddings, marriages, commitments, renewal of vows, baby welcomings and adoptions, coming of age, step-family tributes, new dwellings, birthdays, graduations, survivor tributes, job transitions, memorials, funerals/end of life tributes, divorce, special achievements and civic and corporate events. Celebrants are drawn from many disciplines, but maturity and an appreciation for life's passages are clearly an advantage. A typical fee for a wedding, which covers an in-depth interview, creation of a customized script, and performance of the ceremony itself, runs between $600 and $800. Do the math . . . and the marketing. Read more about celebrancy here: http://www.2young2retire.com/GerryFierst.htm and here http://www.celebrantusa.com/training.html
Dr. FredOur work deals with happiness or fulfillment at midlife and beyond. Some writers say that happiness is overrated. What do you have to say on this matter?
Howard Stone Happiness means different things to different people, of course. We prefer words like contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction. For us being alive is about creating possibilities rather than solving problems. We are happy when we appreciate our work and each other, laugh for no reason, write in our separate gratitude journals, and connect with our children and our grandchildren. They don’t take us seriously, so why should we?
Dr. FrankThe very first chapter of your book deals with money, a topic of particular concern to Third Agers. Share with us your thinking on the idea of "enoughness." What are some of your favorite exercises for dealing with money?
Howard Stone Questions leading to conversation:
1. “What are the messages you heard as a child about money? Are they still holding you back?”
2. “If you had all the money you will ever need, how would you live your life?”
Dr. FredMany midlifers find themselves in a place in which their biggest concern is, "What will I do with the rest of my life?" The typical approach offered by most experts, especially in the domain of work, is that you need to discover what your values, principles, strengths, skills and vision are. Then you are in a much better position to take the appropriate actions. Another school of thought suggests that "it's easier to act your way into new ways of thinking rather than think your way into new ways of acting." The idea is that you need to experiment with, or try on new roles, which will eventually lead you to what's a good fit for you. Would you please comment on these 2 opposing views?
Howard Stone We say, find out what you love whether it makes money or not, and let that be your guide. How you do it varies. Some people are naturally more introspective, others are action-oriented. The main thing is to realize that what you have been doing isn’t necessarily what you will be doing in the future. That’s frightening to many people, but also liberating.
Dr. Frank You created a "Too Young to Retire Course" that is offered in many parts of North America as well in Australia and Europe by certified life coaches. Tell us what the course is about and why Third Agers should take it.
Howard Stone Our facilitators are coaches, social workers and career counselors. They are trained to lead peer learning groups of up to 16 people in considering new perspectives on aging, money, wellness, work, community service, and life/work balance. The format is a series of six to eight weekly sessions with fieldwork in between. Participants are supported by a buddy, the group and the facilitator. Mature people have a lot to offer each other and the facilitated conversation brings out surprising creativity and fresh thinking. This form of education is more affordable than one-on-one coaching.
Shifting Gears at Midlife: a transformational e-course.
