Her midlife crisis, change or transition?With respect to "her midlife crisis", the terms "change" and "transition" mean very different things. The psychologist Elliot Jacques coined the term "midlife crisis" in his 1965 study of the decline of productivity in aging artists and their struggles with mortality. Gail Sheehy popularized the term in her 1976 book, Passages. More recently, I find that the American media have overused and dramatized the term “midlife crisis,” with of course great marketing savvy. Click here for more information about the so-called midlife crisis
Rather than the stereotypical term her midlife crisis, I prefer to use the terms midlife change and transition. I’m very much influenced by the work of William Bridges, a respected educator. His classic work, Transitions: Making sense of life’s changes, is relevant to the topic of
her midlife crisis. He makes an important distinction between the often confused words change and transition. In his thinking change is situational and transition is psychological. I’ll use my wife to illustrate what these two terms mean in connection with her signs of midlife crisis. For more on the work of Bridges, visit our
midlife transitions
page. My wife, Jacqueline, had EIGHT – that is not a misprint - major changes in her life within two months: Transitions These eight changes which may be interpreted as signs of her midlife crisis, really represent important transitions or emotional adaptations to change in her life. They mark the end of one phase of her family, career and inner life and the beginning of new relationships with her daughters and perhaps a new career. These changes provide opportunities to re-orient her life and re-define her emotional and psychological self. Family life: For Jacqueline seeing Valerie achieve an important goal brought immense joy. However, knowing her first born is halfway round the world brings tears to her eyes. It reminds her of the time her own father left France for Colombia in his youth. This mirrors her own leaving Colombia at almost the same age. Andrea’s new independence brings her happiness but also relief about not having to worry about paying for her schooling. It’s difficult to accept the fact that Andrea is no longer her baby. Career: Jacqueline had promised herself she would change careers at 50. But leaving her employment was not easy, even though she did not enjoy what she was doing nor did she relate particularly well with the school administration and most of the teaching staff. It was saying goodbye to her beloved library monitors that was heart wrenching. It meant so much to her to be with these bright, young students who worked at the library after school. One young Chinese boy would even write her short, lyric poems that touched her heart. On the other hand, her new work - and possibly new career - excites her and bodes well for her in dealing with her midlife crisis. There are so many opportunities for learning new ideas, transferring her skills and knowledge to new situations, and helping people with their problems. Inner life: Having lived exactly half her life in a new country brings sadness at being separated from her parents, sisters, and nieces and nephews. It hurts her to be cut off from her roots, her culture and her language. Colombia represents her youth. But living in a new country makes her grateful about her wonderful life she now has. Turning 50 was a traumatic event, as it was for me. Physical changes to your body are never easy to accept. However, she now has a new respect for her physical body and the importance of nurturing it with exercise, rest and proper nutrition. She also realizes that this change represents an opportunity to discover new creative talents in photography and art. It is also allowing her to reconnect with her soul or inner voice through walks in the forest or cycling through the countryside.
In seeing Jacqueline reconnect with her inner self I'm convinced she will approach the future with vigor and energy. Read more about
midlife crisis in women.
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